Flashed Before My Eyes

The other day, well, Friday to be exact, I grabbed my camera and headed out to take some pictures of Ruby lying in the exploded straw bale.
Unbeknownst to me, I was about to see my life flash before my eyes…

Y’see, I have forgotten to pick up the chicken wire that was from the last of the compost bin sized chick yards we cobbled together over the summer.
And, that bit me hard on Friday.
Camera in hand, down I went, tangled in chicken wire.
Many bad words were said when I realized I had slammed Voldemort on the ground. Hard.

I rolled over, sat up and, trying to fight back tears, raised Voldemort and snapped a picture.
Then another.
And another.


Camera is okay.
I have a bruise on my chest where the top of the camera embedded itself.
It’s not cute or sexy and it hurts like a m-f’er.
But, since Voldemort is fine, I am a-ok with the bruise.

What I have learned though is this…
Should I fall down in the chicken yard and not be able to get up, for any reason whatsoever, I will be eaten by a bunch of feathered assholes.
Just look…

“Oh, hey…you okay? Don’t need anything do you? Like maybe your eyes pecked out??”

And then this one noticed…

Wouldn’t be a shame if *we* ate *you*?

And all I could do was sit there and laugh as more and more of the hens in the yard noticed me sitting there…as they came running over with their funny runs, and ultimate disappointment when they realized I had no food for them…not even me.

Ruby the Painted Alien

After the Area51North shoot, I had the bright idea that I could put the “alien” head wear on Ruby.
Handing Voldemort to my Hubby I said “Here, hold my camera and watch this…”
These are the images he captured while hilarity ensued.

“Uh, I don’t think I want to wear that…” says Ruby.

“Well…maybe just the headband part…”

What the hell is hitting my ears?!
What’s going on here??!
You’re trying to kill me!”

“I coulda DIED y’kno…wait…are those cookies I see in your pocket?”

Here, my very brave Painted Alien, have a cookie. ❤

And in the end, the final image was worth the snorting, the pulling back, the cajoling and the feeding of many, many cookies to get our Painted Unicorn to, ever so briefly, become The Painted Alien.

Sharing with Comedy Plus for Awww Mondays
Word of the Day Challenge for Kick…because I sure got a kick out of these images and coming up with the captions for them.