I showed y’all what I had to do to Cookie’s mane:
This is because she is horrible for sticking her head out the fence to eat on the other side…and on 3 sides of the pasture we have barbed wire. Please don’t tell me how dangerous barbed wire is for horses…these Girls have been just fine for the past 3 years, and Sable is a complete Bubble Wrap Horse.
Now, Cookie will stick her head through the fence any time. The pasture can be up to their knees in green grass, and she’ll *still* eat through the fence.
It’s one her quirks.
It’s why she rocks the mohawk.
Yesterday, she decided to stick her big fat head out through the gate on the west side of the pasture. It’s a shitty gate, constructed from what looks like old bed frames by the previous owner. We haven’t gotten around to replacing it, because, for the most part, the horses are very respectful of gates and fences.
Well, aside from Ms Quirky-Ass Pants. 😉
So, as always when I catch her sticking her head through the fence, I opened the window and yelled at her…which mighta went something like this:
“You get your fat f**king head out of that gate or Ima come out there and kick your fuzzy f**king ass all the way to your fuzzy f**king ears you stupid Cow!”
Yup, that reads about right. LOL
As I was yelling, I missed the car that went by.
I didn’t, however, miss it when the driver slammed on the brakes, backed up and pulled into my driveway.
Boots and jacket on, and out I go to see what’s up.
The woman pops her head out the driver’s side window and asks if everything is okay…she’d heard me yelling, and was concerned that I might need help. Truthfully, I think she was concerned the horses might need help and was trying to phrase things carefully.
Never know what you’ll get with crazy country folks, right? 😉
With a smile, I told her that all was good, just the black horse is a jerk who won’t keep her fat head inside the fence. She also loves to provoke me to yell at her when she does it…if you’ve been here when she does it, you’ve seen that self-satisfied smugness she displays when Mama yells at her. She’s a jerk, but she’s my jerk. ❤
And then I asked the woman if she’d like to meet the horses…which brought a smile to her face, and she was out of her car lickety split!
Yesterday being Gotcha Day, I had a few nummies in my pockets (and my Girls are shameless treat whores) so it was easy to coax the walking bellies over to visit.
Cookie found this new person fascinating (that she held the candy cane cookie I gave her helped) and the woman was seriously enjoying the equine attention.
I found myself explaining why I was yelling at Cookie, why the mane-do, and the fact that the horse, no matter what she might tell you, is not starving. She’ll play it up…”Oh, my Mama never feeds me, could I please have one more cookie because I am so very hungry and I have no food!”…but the layer of fat over her ribs and ass tells a very different story. lol
Which I showed the woman…I let her run her hands all over Cookie (who was drinking up this attention like a tramp…amazing!) and feel the fat deposits in places that tell an owner that she’s just fine weight wise. In fact, considering her recent showing of back and pelvic pain as the weather cools off, she’s a bit overweight. She could stand to lose a few pounds to make her joints feel better. But don’t tell her that. No woman wants to be told she’s fat.
About twenty minutes later the woman thanks me for my time, and says she has to get off to work. I thanked her for checking in on us…I appreciated that she was brave enough to stop when she felt concern. Most people wouldn’t.
She blushed when she admitted she had her cell ready to call 911, just in case.
With a laugh I told her that was a good plan. Humans are far too unpredictable.
I then told her that if she had a free afternoon, and wanted to visit again, drop in. I’m always here and I’ll even make coffee…and I’ll give her some brushes to groom the horses.
I’ll take free labour to spiffy up the Girls any day!
And Cookie will likely be happy to tell her sad stories of woe and hunger.
Miserable nag. 😉