Today things feel heavy and hard to carry here.
It has been a hard month, with winter coming, big bills to pay, the days are getting shorter, I’m missing the sunshine, and I’m just plain tired. Weary right down to the bone.
The 20th marked 4 years since my Mom died. I’m still carrying that around with me. I keep trying to put it down…it weighs me down, tries to pull me under far too often…some days, I’m successful, and I can leave that whole ball of stuff somewhere that I can’t see it for a while. Other days…well, like today, it’s heavy, hard to carry, but it’s stuck to me.
And then, there’s days like yesterday, where this picture popped up in my memories on Facebook…
Y’see, he and Cookie had this crazy love affair going on. He’d play in her tail, chase her, rub on her legs…and she let him. No other cat could do it. She shared her beet pulp with him, snuffled his fur, let him sit on her back…
I was sure that one day she was going to be the cause of his death.
I was sure he’d die under her hooves.
And she’d be heartbroken, because they had their thing together.
I was wrong.
This summer we lost him to a coyote.
And I miss him.
My heart hurts and I’m filled with regret (starts with R) because he wasn’t the first cat to go missing…but we didn’t put 2 and 2 together fast enough.
I should have figured it out sooner, and done more to keep him (and the others) safe.
But they’re barn cats. They can’t all come indoors. They have safe places in the farm yard…the garage, the cat house, the deck…it wasn’t enough to protect them from a brazen coyote who was spotted right in the farm yard. 😦
At least my week’s favourite is a delightful picture…
Ah, my sweet loveable Big Girl. My “Oh Mom, lean on me…I have a strong neck to help hold you up and I don’t mind if my mane gets a little wet with tears” Girl.
Worth her weight in gold, I tell ya!
I’ve leaned on her a lot this month…
Finally for Black…
And his best Girl…
Sharing with Friday’s Hunt hosted by Teresa at Eden Hills.
(I’ll update the linky when it opens)